When You Don't Feel Like Celebrating...

If you are in the middle of grief, or are going through an especially difficult time, it can feel nearly impossible to feel like celebrating. Add to that all of the outside pressures around the holidays to put on an outer facade that everything is wonderful- and these times can feel draining and overwhelming.

Try to be kind and gentle with yourself if this time of year is less than blissful for you. If you have suffered a loss recently, or if an anniversary of a loss coincides with the holidays, acknowledge to yourself that it is okay to feel whatever you are feeling. You may have grown up in a home where the holidays were not happy times, so the holidays may trigger old negative feelings or traumatic memories. Do not beat yourself up for feeling negatively- understand that whatever you are feeling is understandable and justified. Spend some time trying to figure out what might make you feel better, and then do it. Release yourself from the expectations of others and spend some time alone nurturing yourself. Surround yourself only with people who love, inspire and support you.

David Neagle, a highly successful business and life strategist, recently wrote the following,

"Go where you're celebrated not where you're tolerated, never stay where you're not valued and guard well the talents that God has given you."

I love this quote. It contains such important wisdom for all of us to remember every day of our lives, not just during the holidays.

Are you feeling celebrated by the people in your life? Are you celebrating those people whom you have chosen to be in your life? If the answer is no, remember that only you have the power to change your experience. If you feel disrespected by your extended family but feel pressure to celebrate with them every year, ask yourself why you are putting yourself in the same unhappy situation year after year. Give yourself permission to create new traditions that will nurture you and those closest to you.

Life is too short to continue to do anything out of obligation rather than love. As you learn to listen to what you truly want and and act accordingly, life becomes much easier and more joyous. Understand that you are the only person responsible for your own happiness. This will allow you to be able to decide for yourself what you truly want. As you take the necessary steps to create the life and relationships that you want, it will be easier to notice all of the gifts in your life and to celebrate them.

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