Try this the next time you get stuck

We all experience times when life just seems too difficult and we feel powerless to change the circumstances we find ourselves in. These are the low moments in life. Perhaps you are in the middle of one of these times right now. It can feel as if you are all alone and that no one could possibly understand your pain and level of stress. This sense of isolation is merely an illusion as is your sense that you are powerless to change your experience. Here are a few tips to remember when all feels bleak.

1. Take responsibility. Own up to your role in contributing to your current situation. This does not mean blaming yourself, making yourself bad or wrong or beating yourself up in any way. We are all human and we all make mistakes. Sometimes, as in the case of miscarriage, bad things happen to good people. Blame and guilt are useless emotions, they do us absolutely no good and we need to refuse to fall into the trap of blaming ourselves or others and becoming guilt-ridden or resentful. Feeling guilty is a waste of time and energy and never changes anything in a positive way. Remember, no one has the power to change your life except you. When you take responsibility, you are refusing to be a victim and you are taking the first step toward stepping out of a situation that is not serving you.

2. See the big picture. It is common to get so bogged down in a current crisis that it's difficult to see the big picture. That's why its often so much easier to give other people advice than to actually know what the right course of action is in your own life. You are less emotionally attached to other people's issues and can usually see potential solutions to their problems. However in your own life, it is often extremely difficult to step back and see the endless possibilities that exist. Sometimes it helps to try to imagine if someone you love were suddenly in the circumstances you now find yourself. What would you tell them to do? How would someone you greatly admire handle your current situation? Your answers may give you clues as to what your next steps should be.

3. When all else fails, do something different. Sometimes you can get so bogged down in your current difficulties that you just keep using the same old coping mechanisms that you have always used. These coping mechanisms have often contributed to the situation in which you currently find yourself. It was Einstein who said that insanity is "doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results". It is during these difficult times in life when it can be so helpful to have a skilled coach or mentor (or a really insightful and bossy friend) who can help you to see that the solution lies in your ability to step out of your comfort zone and handle the situation completely differently than you normally would.

I learned a lot last week at the business seminar I attended about needing to step through the "terror barrier" (a place of extreme discomfort and fear) in order to reach the success that lies on the other side. The same is true with all aspects of life. There will be times when you will feel terrified and unsteady, but when you have the courage to take action in spite of your fear-
freedom, empowerment and endless possibilities await you on the other side.

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