Decide You're Worth It

After my third miscarriage, my feelings of self-worth were at an all time low. I was childless and paralyzed with fear that I would never be a mother. I had never realized how much my self-worth was wrapped up in my ability to have children, and suddenly found myself face to face with one of my greatest fears. If I was unable to have a child of my own, what was my purpose in life, I wondered. Why was I having to suffer when others around me seemed effortlessly able to get pregnant and have children?

I was consumed with pain and felt everyone else was surrounded by abundance while I had nothing. I felt inferior to everyone who had what I wanted. With the help of counseling, a lot of inner work, and working with others more enlightened than myself, I realized that my miscarriages were sad and painful - but no reflection of my self-worth. I was enough just as I was. And you are too.

If self-worth is something you struggle with, you are not alone. Here are a few tips to help:

1) Decide you're worth it- because you are! Pay attention to any critical messages you send to yourself during the day. Recognize these messages are just old tapes we've been playing in our heads for years (most of them since childhood). These messages may have been created to keep us safe as children, but they are no longer serving us.

2) Change any negative messages into positive ones. For example, one of my old messages used to be, "I'm less than other women because I can't have a child of my own". I learned to replace that awful false message with a much more authentic and positive, "I'm a vibrant wonderful woman who creates and nurtures fabulous relationships, ideas and projects every day". This may feel untrue or silly for you at first but commit to trying this for at least thirty days. Decide you are worth the effort. Life is too short to beat ourselves up with our own thoughts.

3) Figure out what you want and go after it. We all day-dream. Many of us dismiss our dreams as impractical and impossible, but our fantasies are actually clues to what we really want. Start making a list of what you want. Maybe its a new relationship or you want to improve the relationships you already have. Maybe its travel, or a career change. Whatever it is, decide that you deserve it and will have it. Start taking steps to receive what you want.

Remember, you are enough, just as you are. If you need help along the way, take the plunge and work with someone who will help you recognize your own amazing self-worth. Find someone who can show you how you can create the life and relationships of your dreams. I am ready and able to help if you need me.


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