Remember Your Power

Sometimes just the daily stresses of life can make us feel tired and vulnerable. When a devastating life event like miscarriage occurs, our sense of powerlessness may feel overwhelming. In an effort to heal more quickly, we may run away from our painful feelings or minimize our feelings of loss. No matter how tempting this strategy may be, it never helps in the long run. Here are a couple of tips to remember when we start feeling those sinking feelings of powerlessness.

• Take an inventory. Sit quietly with yourself and go over all that has been going on in your life. If you enjoy writing- simply jotting down what has been happening for you can be a real eye-opener. You may look at your list and think, "Well of course I'm feeling stressed, look at all that I'm dealing with". Validating for yourself the challenge of your current circumstance is an important first step in feeling empowered.
• Trust that there is great learning in this experience. As much as I love when I am feeling blissfully happy, high-energy and productive, there is great wisdom in patiently supporting ourselves through the difficult times in life. Often we need time to sit with our feelings in order to figure out what our next steps will be. Be patient with yourself in this process and know that the answers will come to you.
• Remember that power and strength come from how we choose to respond to the difficulties that come our way. It is not about having a problem-free life. Losing a baby can be one of the most painful experiences that a person can endure. Facing our fear and pain is never easy. But it is our ability to face our fears and live through them that will help us heal and continue to grow in strength.
• Recognize your courage. I stumbled upon the following quote by Mary Anne Radmacher, "Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes Courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow." I really like this quote because it captures how unglamorous real courage often is. Sometimes courage is just the act of waking up to another day and doing our best to try to continue to live our lives in the presence of intense sadness and grief. It's acknowledging that things are difficult right now but refusing to give up no matter how much we may want to. When faced with a profound loss, our ability to face the pain and feel it completely takes great courage. Getting through the tough times in life makes us stronger, more substantial human beings and leaves us better-equipped to enjoy the fabulous times that await us.

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