Finding Meaning In Our Suffering

One of my favorite books is "Man's Search For Meaning" by Viktor E. Frankl. It's a true story about his survival in a concentration camp during World War II. Frankl, a brilliant psychiatrist, endured incredible suffering during the Holocaust. The focus of his book is his personal journey of finding meaning in his suffering. What kept him going during his nearly endless torment was a strong sense of purpose in his life. Throughout his imprisonment in the camps, Frankl dreamed of writing a book about finding meaning even in the bleakest of circumstances. He actually visualized himself in the future lecturing to an audience about the psychology of a concentration camp inmate. When he was finally released at the end of the war, he found that his pregnant wife, his parents and his brother had all died in the camps. The grief and misery he experienced is hard to fathom, but he forged on and completed his incredible book in nine days.

Frankl spent the rest of his long life trying to help others find meaning from their suffering. One of his many friends and admirers was Harold S. Kushner, author of another incredible book, "When Bad Things Happen To Good People" which is based on Kushner's real-life journey of trying to cope and understand the death of his own son. Frankl and Kushner are two great examples of the power of individuals to overcome immense tragedy, find meaning and help others from their experience.

Thinking back to my own miscarriages, some of the most helpful support came from others who had experienced miscarriage too and were able to reach out to me in my grief. One of the greatest letters I received was from a friend of my mother's who had also experienced three miscarriages prior to adopting one child and then giving birth to two other children. She wrote to me that the pain of her miscarriages helped make her a much more grateful and patient parent as she could never forget how deeply she had longed for her beloved children. I find the same is now true for me. l know that while my suffering was unavoidable, it helped me develop an inner strength and resilience that I would not have achieved had I never experienced such deep personal loss.

Viktor Frankl believed in the fundamental ability of all of us to "turn tragedy into triumph" by finding a sense of purpose in our lives and finding meaning from our suffering. If you are struggling to find meaning, I've included a couple of exercises to try to help:

• Imagine yourself in the future. What do you want your life to look like? What can you learn from your current experience to help you create the life you want?
  
• Imagine it is many years from now, you are approaching the end of your life. How do you want to be remembered?

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