Where Are You Putting Your Energy?

As many of you know, my three miscarriages completely changed my life. The pain of those losses started me on a course of change and self-discovery that will continue for the rest of my life. That experience taught me that the power to change and create my own experiences lies within myself. You have this power too.

Last week's blog focused a lot about creating your vision for what your ideal life looks like. This vision will give you many clues as to where you should be putting your energy. While having a clear vision is crucial for creating the life that you want, equally important is learning to live fully and presently in every moment of your life. This will allow you to enjoy as much of life as possible without spending all of your energy focused on future events. The time to enjoy life is right now, not tomorrow, and not when all of your dreams come true. Living in the moment takes practice, but you can train yourself to do it. Here are a few tips that I have learned to incorporate as part of my daily thinking. They can make a big difference in your daily experience and in the quality of your relationships.

1) Emulate what you admire. Pay attention to what you admire in others. These are clues for you about the areas in your own life in which you'll want to focus your energy. If you admire how successful or prosperous someone is or how in shape they are, don't allow yourself to get caught up in jealousy or envy. These emotions imply that someone else has something that you can never have. Know that there is enough for all of us and that you can create whatever you want for yourself. You creating something wonderful for yourself does not take anything away from someone else.

2) Remember you can't change other people. This was one of the greatest relationship tips I ever received (and a lesson I seem to need to keep re-learning). If you are feeling critical of others, take this as a sign that you are off track. Look specifically at what is aggravating you about the other person. If you are completely honest with yourself, you may see that you are engaging in a similar pattern of behavior somewhere else in your own life. Focusing your energy on what is wrong with someone else is a great way of avoiding moving forward in your own life.

3) Get rid of the guilt. Guilt is the ultimate energy sucker. As a lifelong Catholic, I am very familiar with guilt. I used to feel guilty about everything. If you suffer from endless guilt too, try to repeat the following until it becomes your mantra, "Guilt is a waste of time and energy." If you are feeling guilty about something, spend some time figuring out the root cause of what led you to take the action that is now causing you guilt and regret. Find compassion for yourself, forgive yourself, and move on with greater self-awareness and wisdom. All of the energy formerly spent on guilt can now be channeled into making positive changes in your life.

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